I left work feeling on top of the world - I finished work early, the sun was shining, there was a dog on the bus, but after listening to Foals and closing the door at home I was crying. I don't really know why I feel this way. I'm pretty sure it's because i'm feeling really lonely at the moment, along with just getting back from Glastonbury. I've been planning it for ages - brought the tickets last year, left NZ, travelled around Europe, moved to Edinburgh, got a job, then the only left was to go to Glastonbury. But now it's over. I feel at a loss, and lonely with no friends.
Like I do, but I don't. I have Jared and he is fantastic, but it's not the same as a girlfriend who you can totally count on to listen to you bitch about your woe's.
I don't really have anything to look forward to. I'm torn between wanting to move back to New Zealand to start a family, and a home, but pulled with wanting to travel more around the world. Travelling is hard work though, it's hard to save the money to go there, then whilst you're travelling around it's stressful trying to do activities to a budget, and then after the trip you just wish you were travelling again. It's never a win win situation.
I feel better having written this already. I know what the problem is, it's just I don't have anyone to explain it to.
I take things way to personally - for example, I emailed a friend of mine from university who I hadn't been in contact with for ages, and come two months later I still haven't heard from her. I think that's really rude and I was upset about this, not that upset, but just perturbed. Another friend of mine rejoined Facebook so I decided to email her, and come four weeks later I still haven't had a response from her. Now this is weird: two supposed friends of mine who both haven't replied to my messages. What is it about me that makes people not want to engage with me? And before you go ahead a question that I'm self-centred, I don't think I am. I am a friendly person who is actually interested in what is going on with your life. I ask questions and I'm not cynical/negative all the time.
So I bring to a conclusion, why does Kirsty (myself) have no friends. Or maybe I'm just take everything way too seriously?
Side note: I'm going to post this before I lose face and delete it all
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